READER POST: It’s funny, really. You’d think a less sexist temple ceremony would make me happy. And in a detached, distant kind of way, it does. I’m glad other women won’t have to feel the way I did; like I was trapped. I’m a lifelong feminist and a born-in-the-covenant Mormon, and I wrestled that with the best of them. I thought I’d figured it out.Continue reading “What I Was Supposed to See”
HILDEGARD: Wow, fellow church members, ShadowLeaks™ has found another shocking memo related to today’s announcement about class progression for young members of the church. Without further ado, here it is:
Dear Sisters and Brothers:
Adult Responsibilities Extended to Youth
Pursuant to recent Revelation™, we realize that our beloved daughters may be as prepared as our noble sons, to assume greater responsibility than traditionally delegated to children, in the name of increasing their faith and unity.
To that end, we are delighted to announce the following change: Effective in January 2019, the recommended minimum age for dating and marriage has been lowered to 11 (eleven) years of age, for young women. Continue reading “ShadowLeaks Discovers a Modest-Is-Hottest Proposal”
HILDEGARD: In a recent conference talk, Church President Russell M. Nelson spoke idyllically of motherhood—that he valued it so highly as to have chosen his surgical career because he couldn’t choose to be a mother.
Let’s put aside for a moment that not every woman can choose to be a mother, either; and Life doesn’t always honor our choices anyway.
Let’s also put aside for a moment that careers outside health care are honorable, too.
I’d like to talk about what was notably absent in his treatment of the topic—what he left unsaid, that speaks volumes more to me than what he did say.
He couldn’t choose to be a mother, so he chose a health-related career. What value does he assign to his own fatherhood? Why would mentioning his earthly career take precedence over mentioning his divine identity as a father?
Let’s start by looking at where fathers are most often seen in the Mormon world.
HILDEGARD: Shortly after I married my husband, I had a troubling dream. In that dream, I had been carrying on an affair with an anonymous priest—an unknown man wearing a clerical collar. Waking up to wracking sobs of guilt, I felt like I’d been disloyal to my husband, like I’d betrayed him without even trying to.
I had no real understanding of the dream world, and I was new to the world of sexual activity. I felt the need to confess to my husband, so, as hives erupted on my body to accompany my tears, he listened and consoled me that it had just been a dream, and I’d done nothing wrong. Even my horrified reaction was a testament to my loyalty. We talked and laughed and mentally filed it away under “Weird Dreams and Learning Experiences.”
Now, more than fifteen years later, I think there was a message in that dream. Continue reading “Wedded to What?”
HILDEGARD: We all have days when one. more. demand. could be the straw that breaks us. Being needed is good, even necessary to our well-being and community; but being needed can easily cross the line into too much of a good thing.
Demands come from our families, friends, schools, communities, and places of employment; and if you’re LDS, infusing all of these is a constant, compounding need from the church. Continue reading “Need”
HILDEGARD: I remember the basement being a grand staging area for Mom’s beautiful projects, some of which were for Relief Society fundraising back in the days of bazaars and actual Homemaking meeting. A “bazaar” sounded so exotic! And Mom sure seemed excited to participate. Alight with a child’s enthusiasm during the Christmas season, I watched as she magicked together beautiful things to contribute to the event–whatever it actually was. I’d learn when I was older.