The Silencing of Women in the Church

READER POST: At the foundation of the patriarchal culture of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the silencing of women. Until recently, women were not allowed to speak in General Conference. Their voices are excluded from critical councils of the Church–the councils that make policies which determine the quality of a woman’s life and how a woman may participate in the Church. Under these conditions, women are expected to obey Church leaders without complaint. Those who refuse to do so are too often marginalized and shamed. Continue reading “The Silencing of Women in the Church”

Of My Own Free Will and Choice

TABITHA: “Sister Tabitha, would you like to come sit by your husband up here?”

My husband was serving as a witness for sealing ceremonies, the rite that binds families together for eternity in temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There’s not much to the job, just being one of two men making sure that the man performing the ceremony does it correctly. By sitting next to my husband, at the head of the room, I had a glimpse into church service and duties that I’ll most likely never experience for myself. At first I was excited. Here I am, sitting next to my husband, not behind or ahead. We are already sealed together as a couple. Now we’re a team serving together, as witnesses, even if I’m only unofficially one. Except, I’ll always be an unofficial witness. I’m not needed because I can’t be ordained to an office of the priesthood; I’m just kinda nice to have around to make the work more bearable. Or something like that. Dang. That was a cool feeling for a minute. Continue reading “Of My Own Free Will and Choice”

Let’s Hear It for the Boys! (and Other Shout-outs Re: the Temple Changes)

DEBORAH: Changes have been made to the temple ceremonies, and, having not yet witnessed them, I rely on reports that every single thing feminist-leaning Latter-day Saint women have been protesting has been corrected. Finally. A step forward that is adult-sized. Of course, the entire topic of the temple falls into most members’ Too Sacred for Words file, so I won’t go there. Instead, I’d like to give a few shout outs. Continue reading “Let’s Hear It for the Boys! (and Other Shout-outs Re: the Temple Changes)”

Addendum to The Slack in the New Missionary Dress Code

DEBORAH: When I wrote my last post on the new missionary dress code, I had only the public announcement made by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In a comment, an SQ reader supplied the official wording, as it landed in the hands of our female missionaries. I’d like to say that the additional information demonstrated a greater mindfulness and care for the young women who serve. However, what it did was confirm that sexism—an inconsideration for the additional burdens the formal Church places on women—is alive and well. Continue reading “Addendum to The Slack in the New Missionary Dress Code”

The Slack in the New Sister Missionary Dress Code

DEBORAH: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has released an announcement that all female missionaries may wear pants. Sometimes. Depending. Not in the temple, not at missionary conferences or various other mission- or church-specific meetings, and, of course, not during any Sunday meetings. Online rejoicing abounds. But not me. I can’t rejoice. Continue reading “The Slack in the New Sister Missionary Dress Code”

Finding Christmas Peace in Faith Transition

READER POST: Religious holidays can be really hard after a faith transition. I often feel like I have to settle the questions of belief that I’ve wrestled with during the year, or that the wrestle isn’t allowed or worthy during the holiday season. I feel pressure to either declare myself a Christian with all the trimmings of a salvific Christ and a virgin birth, or I have to entirely reject Christianity and exclusively embrace a secular or pagan observation of the season. Continue reading “Finding Christmas Peace in Faith Transition”

Lessons from Mother Winter

READER POST: I used to really hate winter.

A sharp, bone-slicing, we-do-not-negotiate-with-terrorists hatred.

Then….?

I noticed that we always talk about the earth as a mother. Hey, I’m a mother! Maybe I could pick up a few lessons from The Master Mother? I was starved for some kind of pattern of a proper mother, since my own was too overwhelmed to really show up and I didn’t want to repeat that. Continue reading “Lessons from Mother Winter”

ShadowLeaks Discovers a Modest-Is-Hottest Proposal

HILDEGARD: Wow, fellow church members, ShadowLeaks™ has found another shocking memo related to today’s announcement about class progression for young members of the church. Without further ado, here it is:


Dear Sisters and Brothers:

Adult Responsibilities Extended to Youth

Pursuant to recent Revelation™, we realize that our beloved daughters may be as prepared as our noble sons, to assume greater responsibility than traditionally delegated to children, in the name of increasing their faith and unity.

To that end, we are delighted to announce the following change: Effective in January 2019, the recommended minimum age for dating and marriage has been lowered to 11 (eleven) years of age, for young women. Continue reading “ShadowLeaks Discovers a Modest-Is-Hottest Proposal”

Coats of Love

READER POST: I sat alone in the dark, the blur of Christmas lights blinking against the icy windows. I glanced at the cardboard box of decorations: the dollar store stockings, the plastic ornaments, the artificial secondhand tree–none of it familiar. I began removing each substitute item, given as condolence for not having our cherished Christmas belongings. Surely this was not the life I planned. Being a single mom of four young children, one with profound special needs, came with challenges that I embraced fully, but it was all still bewildering. Continue reading “Coats of Love”