Tag: accountability

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Forgiveness Doesn’t Require Submission: A Response to the General Conference Address on Abortion

TW: Abortion
READER POST: Over the General Conference pulpit this last weekend, a male religious leader once again spoke to women, telling us how to handle incredibly private and deeply personal choices, namely abortion.

He told stories of women who “sinned” by having abortions. He didn’t talk much of what their reasons might have been. He then shared a story of a married man who cheated on his wife, got his girlfriend pregnant, and didn’t want her to have the abortion she was considering. Instead, he convinced the girlfriend to give birth and his wife to raise the baby.

There are so many problems with this line of thinking that I don’t know where to start, so instead of trying to capture my reaction, I decided to rewrite his talk. If I, a woman, was inspired to give that same talk as Neal Andersen, this would be my version:

Continue reading “Forgiveness Doesn’t Require Submission: A Response to the General Conference Address on Abortion”
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The Value Difference Between Trump Voters and Non-Trump Voters and Why It Matters

DEBORAH: I’m writing this on January 7, 2025. Four years and a day ago, I stared at my television all day, watching the events of January 6th, 2021 erupt at the U.S. Capitol. One day ago, I watched Kamala Harris, the candidate I voted for, peacefully certify the 2024 electoral college results in favor of the man who defeated her. As I watched her fulfill her duty as vice president, I thought of a woman I’ve known most of my life, someone who is in her 80s and helped plan my wedding day nearly 40 years ago. From 2016 on, she has pledged her life to the MAGA agenda. Shortly after this past November’s election, I found her clutching her  proverbial pearls and looking ahead with grave concern to Jan. 6th. 2025–to yesterday. She felt certain that “the she-devil and her cohorts on the left” were plotting to overturn the election “again” by refusing to certify the results. It was too much for me and I replied, “No, that’s what your side does.” For that I was unfriended and blocked, something I find sadly amusing in light of a more recent conversation I had with another Republican woman, this time in my LDS congregation, about a month after the election. In tears,  she asked if I would intercede with a mutual acquaintance, a lifelong Democrat who had told my emotionally fraught friend that she didn’t think their decades-long friendship could continue because her Trump vote demonstrated a clear difference in their value systems. 

The woman had been flabbergasted. “How could she say our values are different?” she exclaimed. “She’s known me for decades!” 

Continue reading “The Value Difference Between Trump Voters and Non-Trump Voters and Why It Matters”
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Bishop, Stake President Facilitate Husband’s Abuse of Wife and Children

READER POST: I was on my way to the high council room in our church building. My husband of four months was being called as the first counselor in the new bishopric, and each of the bishopric members were being set apart. I had been in that room many times as a stake primary president and the room held good memories of that time for me. But I knew our stake president would be leading the meeting. I didn’t hold good memories of my experiences with him. He was rough. He was the man who told me he’d revoke my temple recommend the minute I filed for divorce from my previous, abusive husband. So I didn’t. I stayed–for years–and the abuse continued. 

Continue reading “Bishop, Stake President Facilitate Husband’s Abuse of Wife and Children”
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Interview with an LDS Survivor of Child Sex Abuse

TW: Child sex abuse

SISTERS QUORUM: On behalf of everyone at Sisters Quorum, let me begin by saying how much we appreciate you sharing what is a difficult, intensely personal story. SQ believes it’s vital that the experiences of LDS victims of sexual abuse be heard in an effort to improve the pastoral care within the LDS system and culture, as well as encourage accountability for perpetrators of crimes. Please know that we only want you to share what you feel safe sharing.

So let’s get started. In your own words, what is your story of sexual abuse?

Anonymous: My stepfather sexually abused my older sister and me for five years. My older sister ran away at age 13 and didn’t tell anyone about the abuse. She ended up going to live with my dad, and that’s when our stepfather started abusing me. I was six years old. My sister thought I was too young and he wouldn’t come after me, but he did. 

Continue reading “Interview with an LDS Survivor of Child Sex Abuse”
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Labels: A Response to Pres. Nelson’s Social Media Post

READER POST: I’m encountering quite a bit of social media discussion right now about the labels people wear after Russell M. Nelson, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, shared his thoughts about them on social media last Wednesday. As the mother of a teenage trans son, I’ve been processing my thoughts and feelings ever since. Before I share them, here’s what Pres. Nelson wrote:

Continue reading “Labels: A Response to Pres. Nelson’s Social Media Post”
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Be Careful Who You Shun in the Name of the Lord

ATHENA: As General Conference weekend spins up, I find myself dreading the fallout even more than I usually do. This past year has been a rough one for people on the margins of Mormondom, and I am one of those people. I tried for a very long time to maintain a position in the center, to belong to the in-crowd, until I just couldn’t anymore. The LDS church was hurting me in very specific ways, and because of that, I grew to understand how much pain church membership was causing other people for whom I cared deeply. I guess you could say my empathy chip finally activated.

Continue reading “Be Careful Who You Shun in the Name of the Lord”
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We Need the Church to be Good: a Top 15 List for the 15 Top Brethren

SQ: After General Conference, the staff here at SQ realized we don’t need the Church to be true, but we do need it to be good. And consistently honorable.  To this end, we’ve compiled a list of the top fifteen things we want the Brethren to know. Here is our list, in no particular order: Continue reading “We Need the Church to be Good: a Top 15 List for the 15 Top Brethren”

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The Mormon Male Voice

READER POST: Buttermilk, powdered sugar, cream cheese: the cashier is bagging my Target purchases when I hear a familiar male voice, a neighborhood friend’s. “You must be getting ready to make something delicious for conference weekend,” he says. “Are you excited to listen?”

Before I can answer, he starts talking about how eager he is to hear the prophet’s voice. I smile, swipe my REDCard, gather my bag, and leave, voiceless.

His is just another in a long line of Mormon male voices I heard this week, this horrible week before General Conference, voices trying to tell me something about the choices I make in my life, what they believe I should believe, which parts of women’s experiences are valid or valuable.  Continue reading “The Mormon Male Voice”

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To the Church that Requested Its Women Fast from Social Media (but Not Men) and Fall Silent at a Time when Women are in Pain from Being Silenced, and During Church Sex Scandals, and Right Before a Utah State Election in which You, the Church, Have Meddled:

LEAH: Continue reading “To the Church that Requested Its Women Fast from Social Media (but Not Men) and Fall Silent at a Time when Women are in Pain from Being Silenced, and During Church Sex Scandals, and Right Before a Utah State Election in which You, the Church, Have Meddled:”

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Mormon No Mo Yo

PILAR: Although Juliet opined that “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” Anne of Green Gables disagreed and memorably said, “I don’t think a rose would be as nice if it were called a thistle or a skunk cabbage.” I’m not sure which character I agree with more, because they both make valid points.

This week, Russell M. Nelson, president of The Church, announced that the  Lord “has impressed upon my mind” that God doesn’t like the use of the word “Mormon” for this, that, and the other thing. No more Mormon or LDS Church. Strictly The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, unless you use the so-called shorthand “restored gospel of Jesus Christ.” Continue reading “Mormon No Mo Yo”