A Trans Teen, a Church, and the Absence of Pastoral Care

DEBORAH: She’d invited me to meet her at a favorite restaurant, one of our usual dives, even though its undergoing renovation. Sometimes we talked about our kids and school, or our husbands and the quirks of marriage, and occasionally about our own ambitions. Always, somehow, our lives as Latter-day Saints colored our conversations. To be honest, being a Latter-day Saint has become increasingly challenging for us both, largely for the disharmony between what the Church offers straight and queer populations. Yet neither of us imagined we’d be having this conversation—the one in which she agonizes over the just-made revelation that her son is her daughter, that he says he always has been and that he’s so, so sorry, can she forgive him? Sometimes hearts break over queso. Continue reading “A Trans Teen, a Church, and the Absence of Pastoral Care”

Happy Feminist Valentine’s Day!

Pilar & Laura:

We here at Sisters Quorum want to make sure you’re properly taken care of this Valentine’s Day. So if you’re looking for the most appropriate way to tell someone you love them without violating their boundaries, we’ve got you taken care of.

After all, nothing says I love you quite like consent.

Continue reading “Happy Feminist Valentine’s Day!”

When Women Use the Temple as a Weapon

READER POST: Early in my marriage, I learned that my mother-in-law loves the temple. To her, it’s the pinnacle of family bonding time and the first thing she wants to do any time the family gets together. For instance, the evening before one family wedding, her sons had to explain why it would be insensitive for those of us with recommends to ditch the bride’s parents and the groom’s grandparents, who did not hold temple recommends, in order to attend a session together.  On another occasion, my mother-in-law picked up family at the airport and informed her travel-weary relatives that they were heading straight to the temple for a 2-hour session. Yes, she loves the temple that much, and its a problem. Continue reading “When Women Use the Temple as a Weapon”

Lessons from Mother Winter

READER POST: I used to really hate winter.

A sharp, bone-slicing, we-do-not-negotiate-with-terrorists hatred.

Then….?

I noticed that we always talk about the earth as a mother. Hey, I’m a mother! Maybe I could pick up a few lessons from The Master Mother? I was starved for some kind of pattern of a proper mother, since my own was too overwhelmed to really show up and I didn’t want to repeat that. Continue reading “Lessons from Mother Winter”

Thank You For Your Criticism

MIRIAM: When my second daughter was three years old, she answered the door to a friend I served with at church. A few minutes later when we were alone, my friend joked that my daughter was going to be a challenge as she got older. I laughed. Her observation was already being confirmed. This child was determined, extremely observant, and fearless. When she was five years old, we lived in a small apartment complex surrounding a playground where she and the other kids would play. One day I was checking on her and her older siblings from the third story window. I didn’t see her. “Hi Mom!” rang to my ears. It was my girl, but, where was she? The sound seemed strange. I kept looking and realized why the sound was strange. She was calling to me at eye-level from the tree she had climbed! Did I mention I was on the third floor? Continue reading “Thank You For Your Criticism”

That You May Walk with Love

LAURA: My dear daughters,

The world is really scary right now. It seems like everywhere we turn there is heartbreak and violence and ugliness. Although I want to shield you from it for now, I know that I can’t protect you forever. I’d love to give you the tools to make sense of it, but the truth is I don’t know how. I can’t make sense of it either. Continue reading “That You May Walk with Love”

Need

HILDEGARD: We all have days when one. more. demand. could be the straw that breaks us. Being needed is good, even necessary to our well-being and community; but being needed can easily cross the line into too much of a good thing.

Demands come from our families, friends, schools, communities, and places of employment; and if you’re LDS, infusing all of these is a constant, compounding need from the church.  Continue reading “Need”

Learning from Jesus this Christmas

LAURA: As we approach Christmas, I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus. Like many of my friends, I’m trying to simplify our holiday without completely ignoring it. My oldest is extremely excited about Christmas and I don’t want to disappoint her. However, the mental load of the holidays is enough to overload my already anxiety-prone mental health. Balancing my limits with what I want, what my littles are wishing for, and what my extended family, social circle, and employer are expecting is the order of the day.

Continue reading “Learning from Jesus this Christmas”