READER POST: I was on my way to the high council room in our church building. My husband of four months was being called as the first counselor in the new bishopric, and each of the bishopric members were being set apart. I had been in that room many times as a stake primary president and the room held good memories of that time for me. But I knew our stake president would be leading the meeting. I didn’t hold good memories of my experiences with him. He was rough. He was the man who told me he’d revoke my temple recommend the minute I filed for divorce from my previous, abusive husband. So I didn’t. I stayed–for years–and the abuse continued.
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The First Time I Realized My Body was Wrong for Morming: A Poem by Sachiko
READER POST: The first time I realized my body was wrong for Morming (abmormal?)
was when the t-shirts arrived for Girl’s Camp.
How beautiful upon the mountains was the cotton-poly
On the wise virgins who had saved all their body fat for their breasts,
The only curve that we were supposed to hint through the veil of Hanes.
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Cancelled: Resigned LDS Mother of Trans Child Forbidden from Singing in Christmas Service
READER POST: I come from pioneer Mormon heritage on both sides. I’m deeply Mormon. I graduated from early morning seminary where I watched many a vibrant sunrise while driving to the stake center. I graduated from the institute program in college, a program designed to take four years, but I finished in two (curtsy). I graduated from BYU in Provo, Utah. I was married to my husband in the temple of the Lord. I feel Mormon deeply in my soul. My oldest child (age 17) is transgender, and he is good and holy, and the binaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints don’t work for him. After a few years of trying to make it work for me and working so hard to educate my leaders on how they can be more inclusive, and moving millimeters, I came to the realization that if it doesn’t work for him, it doesn’t work for me. We are a package deal.
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Interview with an LDS Survivor of Child Sex Abuse
TW: Child sex abuse
SISTERS QUORUM: On behalf of everyone at Sisters Quorum, let me begin by saying how much we appreciate you sharing what is a difficult, intensely personal story. SQ believes it’s vital that the experiences of LDS victims of sexual abuse be heard in an effort to improve the pastoral care within the LDS system and culture, as well as encourage accountability for perpetrators of crimes. Please know that we only want you to share what you feel safe sharing.
So let’s get started. In your own words, what is your story of sexual abuse?
Anonymous: My stepfather sexually abused my older sister and me for five years. My older sister ran away at age 13 and didn’t tell anyone about the abuse. She ended up going to live with my dad, and that’s when our stepfather started abusing me. I was six years old. My sister thought I was too young and he wouldn’t come after me, but he did.
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Labels: A Response to Pres. Nelson’s Social Media Post
READER POST: I’m encountering quite a bit of social media discussion right now about the labels people wear after Russell M. Nelson, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, shared his thoughts about them on social media last Wednesday. As the mother of a teenage trans son, I’ve been processing my thoughts and feelings ever since. Before I share them, here’s what Pres. Nelson wrote:
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To Bind Up The Broken Hearts: An Open Letter to the Brethren on Heavenly Mother
READER POST: The first religious value I remember being taught was obedience. Obedience to authority, to the priesthood, to adults, to parents, and to God. I learned about a God who tested His children. A God who gave and took at His mysterious will, according to a metric that made no sense from my mortal perspective.
He gave Abraham and Sarah a son, and then asked them to give up their child’s life in sacrifice…a test that only ended when He was confident Abraham would obey. I learned about Mary consenting to be the handmaid of the Lord and that it was an honor to be chosen to do so. I learned about a God that gave multiple wives to powerful men, who in turn gave children to their husbands. I learned about a God who commanded Emma to support her husband as he took more wives, and that she would face condemnation if she didn’t comply. I learned that (for at least one woman) the promised blessing of giving herself to the Prophet in marriage was exaltation, but the punishment for her refusal, a fiery sword.
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LDS Women Testify of Heavenly Mother
SISTERS QUORUM: Every six months, as General Conference approaches, members of the LDS Church discuss their hopes about what will come from the pulpit. This go-round, however, LDS women are talking about their fears rather than their hopes. Leaks are coming from stake training meetings and other sources, suggesting this General Conference will be used to quash independent, spiritual pursuit of Heavenly Mother. When SQ asked LDS women to share their personal experiences with Heavenly Mother and their reactions to the possibility SLC will attempt to silence Her–and them–once again, twelve women gave us glimpses into their intimate, spiritual experiences. We were moved and think you will be, too.
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Can You Care about My Trans Son Now that He’s Denied His Spot on the Team that’s Been His Lifeline?
TW: Transphobia
READER POST: A couple days ago, as I was heading out the door, I received an email from the high school tennis coach requesting a meeting to discuss my trans son’s eligibility to play. I knew, I just knew, what was going to happen next. I drove to my medical appointment fighting back tears and mentally repeating, Put it in a box. Just for a minute. It’s got to go in a box right now. I live in Texas and, for those unaware, the state legislature signed HB25 into law last October after several failed attempts with other, similar legislation, and a commitment from Governor Abbott to continue calling special session after special session until one of the anti-trans measures passed.
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I Have Words, too, Elder Holland
READER POST: I have a flag that sits atop a silver flag pole which is mounted on the deck of my home, overlooking a peaceful blue pond, with mountains and a green field where deer come out in the evening to graze. The flag has shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and unfurls pretty in the wind as it flies high.
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What Sexual Assault Looked Like in My LDS Youth
READER POST: I don’t really have any good memories of our relationship. I assume we had them, but I can’t remember any examples.
I was a high school freshman and wouldn’t turn 16 until after the end of the school year. He was a senior and just a few months shy of 18. We met in and LDS seminary class. I remember when “Have lunch with me?” turned into “Where were you?” and I abandoned my girlfriends to spend my lunch period watching him and his friends play basketball.
I remember the parking lot of the bowling alley and how I cried in the front passenger seat of his car, hurt and humiliated, while his friend sat in the back seat. When he ran into the bowling alley to see if there was a free lane, I remember the way his friend’s voice sounded when he asked me, “Are you okay?” But I lied and said yes. I remember the way something in my brain shifted when that friend said, “I think you could do better.”
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Sisters Quorum 