Author: lisatorcassodowning

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Forgiveness Doesn’t Require Submission: A Response to the General Conference Address on Abortion

TW: Abortion
READER POST: Over the General Conference pulpit this last weekend, a male religious leader once again spoke to women, telling us how to handle incredibly private and deeply personal choices, namely abortion.

He told stories of women who “sinned” by having abortions. He didn’t talk much of what their reasons might have been. He then shared a story of a married man who cheated on his wife, got his girlfriend pregnant, and didn’t want her to have the abortion she was considering. Instead, he convinced the girlfriend to give birth and his wife to raise the baby.

There are so many problems with this line of thinking that I don’t know where to start, so instead of trying to capture my reaction, I decided to rewrite his talk. If I, a woman, was inspired to give that same talk as Neal Andersen, this would be my version:

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Embracing the Masculine and Feminine to Become One in Christ

READER POST: Ever since the inauguration, my social media feed has been filled with arguments trying to prove two very different sides of an extremely polarizing issue: 1) every human is either male or female as determined at birth; or 2) enough biological variations exist to prove that gender is not a simple binary. (To better understand the complexities of this debate, read the Columbia Law Review here.) However, no matter how many facts are presented or how eloquently either side argues, I’ve noticed that this discussion often doesn’t lead to any further understanding. I believe that may be due, in part, to an underlying issue that we often ignore: each of us possess traits that are traditionally considered masculine and each possess traits considered feminine.

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What I Don’t Understand about Religious Women’s Support for Trump

TABITHA: I recently reread Pilar’s post about her reaction to the election results. It made me think about boundaries in friendships, particularly in the context of one friend voting for Donald Trump while the other could not comprehend remaining friends with someone who supported putting a sexual predator in the White House. Over the past decade, I have established my own boundaries regarding friends and family whose values lead them to enthusiastically support Trump. However, Pilar’s post prompted me to consider other aspects of his supporters, especially women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints community, that I find difficult to understand.

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The Value Difference Between Trump Voters and Non-Trump Voters and Why It Matters

DEBORAH: I’m writing this on January 7, 2025. Four years and a day ago, I stared at my television all day, watching the events of January 6th, 2021 erupt at the U.S. Capitol. One day ago, I watched Kamala Harris, the candidate I voted for, peacefully certify the 2024 electoral college results in favor of the man who defeated her. As I watched her fulfill her duty as vice president, I thought of a woman I’ve known most of my life, someone who is in her 80s and helped plan my wedding day nearly 40 years ago. From 2016 on, she has pledged her life to the MAGA agenda. Shortly after this past November’s election, I found her clutching her  proverbial pearls and looking ahead with grave concern to Jan. 6th. 2025–to yesterday. She felt certain that “the she-devil and her cohorts on the left” were plotting to overturn the election “again” by refusing to certify the results. It was too much for me and I replied, “No, that’s what your side does.” For that I was unfriended and blocked, something I find sadly amusing in light of a more recent conversation I had with another Republican woman, this time in my LDS congregation, about a month after the election. In tears,  she asked if I would intercede with a mutual acquaintance, a lifelong Democrat who had told my emotionally fraught friend that she didn’t think their decades-long friendship could continue because her Trump vote demonstrated a clear difference in their value systems. 

The woman had been flabbergasted. “How could she say our values are different?” she exclaimed. “She’s known me for decades!” 

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“Plural Marriage: Faith to Obey…” Gets It All Wrong

READER POST: I teach my children to honor our ancestors and to respect all those with whom we share our world–which includes honoring our polygamous Mormon ancestors and respecting those who continue the practice today. Just this week, I listened proudly as my four year old explained to someone else that some types of Mormons practice polygamy and some types of Mormons don’t. While we don’t believe it was ever commanded by God, polygamy (both historical and modern) is a topic which comes up at our dinner table regularly. We aren’t afraid to discuss it. 

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Post-Election Thoughts of an Abuse Survivor

PILAR: Ever since the presidential election, I have been having a lot of flashbacks about how, when I got divorced from my extremely abusive ex husband – the man who beat and raped me and had numerous extramarital affairs – I lost so many of my friends because they picked the abuser over me. So it’s not really a surprise to me that so many Americans who consider themselves Christians have no problems supporting a rapist and voting him into office. Their entire experiences at church have taught them to excuse and ignore the sins of men (especially their crimes against women) and shrug them off in the name of forgiveness because the man gives great speeches, or is a good leader, or whatever. Literally any excuse will do.

I understand that lots of people want to separate Donald Trump’s policies from his personal life. I don’t want to talk about that, I want to talk about the trauma here. To women like me with past trauma who viscerally cringe at electing a man like him, I see you. I feel it, too. 

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Bishop, Stake President Facilitate Husband’s Abuse of Wife and Children

READER POST: I was on my way to the high council room in our church building. My husband of four months was being called as the first counselor in the new bishopric, and each of the bishopric members were being set apart. I had been in that room many times as a stake primary president and the room held good memories of that time for me. But I knew our stake president would be leading the meeting. I didn’t hold good memories of my experiences with him. He was rough. He was the man who told me he’d revoke my temple recommend the minute I filed for divorce from my previous, abusive husband. So I didn’t. I stayed–for years–and the abuse continued. 

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The First Time I Realized My Body was Wrong for Morming: A Poem by Sachiko

READER POST: The first time I realized my body was wrong for Morming (abmormal?)

was when the t-shirts arrived for Girl’s Camp.

How beautiful upon the mountains was the cotton-poly

On the wise virgins who had saved all their body fat for their breasts,

The only curve that we were supposed to hint through the veil of Hanes.

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Interview with an LDS Survivor of Child Sex Abuse

TW: Child sex abuse

SISTERS QUORUM: On behalf of everyone at Sisters Quorum, let me begin by saying how much we appreciate you sharing what is a difficult, intensely personal story. SQ believes it’s vital that the experiences of LDS victims of sexual abuse be heard in an effort to improve the pastoral care within the LDS system and culture, as well as encourage accountability for perpetrators of crimes. Please know that we only want you to share what you feel safe sharing.

So let’s get started. In your own words, what is your story of sexual abuse?

Anonymous: My stepfather sexually abused my older sister and me for five years. My older sister ran away at age 13 and didn’t tell anyone about the abuse. She ended up going to live with my dad, and that’s when our stepfather started abusing me. I was six years old. My sister thought I was too young and he wouldn’t come after me, but he did. 

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Labels: A Response to Pres. Nelson’s Social Media Post

READER POST: I’m encountering quite a bit of social media discussion right now about the labels people wear after Russell M. Nelson, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, shared his thoughts about them on social media last Wednesday. As the mother of a teenage trans son, I’ve been processing my thoughts and feelings ever since. Before I share them, here’s what Pres. Nelson wrote:

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